Drinking has never done anything positive for me. I used to sleep all day, sometimes for days at a time. I’d only ever go out to get alcohol or cigarettes. And when I look back on all the stuff I’ve done, I am filled with so much guilt. I am thankful for how lucky I was. I drove drunk but didn’t kill anyone. But I hurt a lot of people with the things I said and did while I was drinking and to defend my alcoholism. I lied so much to my parents.
I always used to think that bad stuff happened to me AND I was drunk. I didn’t connect that it happened BECAUSE I was drunk. All the stuff that happened as a result of drinking made me more depressed. I was pretty much depressed through my whole adolescence.
I tried to deal with my depression by cutting myself, but that didn’t really help anything.
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