Melessa debriefs about the blog and what she’s up to now

At first, the thought of having my story out there was really scary. I was worried about people seeing me on the street and thinking, “There’s that girl with all those problems from the Internet.” But I wanted to do it if it could help people. The feedback I got verified that it did. Now, I think it’s an amazing idea. 

I posted the blog on my Facebook, and people who commented said it was awesome. I told my dad about it, but I haven’t yet shared it with my mom. I’m not sure if my sister has seen it.

I recently had a spiritual awakening. I’m doing all I can to be sober and stay positive. It’s about acceptance and patience. I have also found that God works through other people. I met some new young people at a 12-step meeting the other day. Helping them helps me continue on my path to recovery.

I pray every day, too. I couldn’t do any of this without God. “Help me do the next best thing,” I say. Last week I spoke at a luncheon where one of my counselors won an award (Congrats Vady!). I would have never done that a year ago, but I knew I had to do it, because it was the next best thing. The response I got from sharing my story was overwhelming. It felt so good. I’ll be speaking at two more events in the next month, including Recovery Resources’ Bronze Key Gala on November 18. I am happy to share my story if it can help someone. I owe my life to Recovery Resources.

Thanks for following me on this journey. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite prayers, the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I know I'll always be an alcoholic...

But that doesn’t mean I’m always going to drink. This time last year, I was out of control. My life was horrible. I was always drinking and doing drugs. But now, I’m in a really, really good place for the first time in 15 years. I can’t wait for the day I can say I’ve been sober for a year.

One day at a time.

Note: This concludes Melessa’s blog. We followed her over the course of a two and a half month period as she courageously shared her story. Come back soon for a post-blog discussion. What did Melessa think? What did you think? We’d love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading!

The gift of sobriety

I was 90 days sober on my dad’s birthday this year. I told him, “My sobriety is your gift.”  He said, “I would like nothing more.”

What I want

My goals for the next six months are:
1. Find a job
2. Stay sober, which I will
3. Be active in my support groups, making coffee and chairing meetings whenever I can
4. Help someone
5. Read books, make jewelry, knit, go for walks
6. Give back to everyone who has helped me
7. Be comfortable will my meal plan, follow it 100%
8. Look at my body not as an enemy but a temple
9. Feel good about myself
10. Be confident


I just want to be happy, without relying on a substance to make me feel comfortable. It’s easier to stay sober than to keep relapsing. I don’t want to disappoint the people who have been rooting for me by going out there and taking one drink. It’s not worth it.

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family." - Anthony Brandt

My sister left for college in August. When she was little, I was always jealous of her and thought my parents loved her more than me. I think I even remember telling her that I hated her.  Now, she’s my best friend. I trust her more than anybody. She’s so calm and strong and super brave. I know she forgives me.

Some people go their whole lives without being able to re-connect. I feel blessed that I’m so young. I’m so glad there was help available. There always is. You just have to ask for it.

My mom would always say, “Help me help you.” Now I realize the way for her to help me is for me to help myself.

Anorexia today

Since I’ve been eating more on this nutritional plan, I’ve gained weight, and people have said some things. They tell me things, like “You look better.” I know it sounds weird, but it’s difficult to hear. I have to keep my mind balanced, and know that the doubt is just my eating disorder trying to convince me to listen to it.

Addiction

I heard someone say that it all starts with cigarettes. I agree. Cigarettes are so addicting. I’m not blaming them, but I think it’s easier to get addicted to other things when you’re already addicted to something.